I love my mistakes!!

Ever thought of time? Ever wanted it to stop? Or even to rewind? I see clocks walking backwards, trees back to their seeds, I see the sun setting in the east, I see the rain going up to the clouds, and I think of how I will look if it continues but every time I look to the shattered mirror on the ground I see it reuniting again, light is reflecting out of my eyes instead of going in, I see the dead soldiers coming back to life, I hear the symphonies playing the notes from the end to the start, I wonder if I’d get back the ones I lost, I wonder if I’ll be a baby again.

The yellow leaves of fall are floating to reattach to the boughs, water is coming back from the sea to the river and then to hide in the deepness of the solid rocks of brown, the tears are coming back to the eyes of people filled with sorrow, laughter is rising down, air bubbles are falling into the lungs of swimmers, collapsed buildings are standing up to face the winds again, the orange oranges are getting smaller, people in love are forgetting about each other.

Second by second, everything slows down, I see the frames of my life freezing like a film that has been paused, objects are so hard to move, I can’t move my hand, I can’t blink with my eye, I can’t think of anything but the emptiness I was filled with, no sounds, no voices heard, no noise and it’s so pure, white covering all around slowly, I fade away as the colors of a coloring book when thrown in water , thinking of nothing, seeing nothing, it’s not white any more, it’s not any color and it’s not even transparent, I hear nothing, it’s not silence it’s not humming or singing, I feel nothing, not cold not hot, not tired, not sleepy, not energetic, not hungry, not thirsty, not happy and not sad, there’s no me, I’m not anywhere.

Suddenly I remembered the time I thought I’d be pleased if time was reversible, it was the only idea in my head, I thought it would be miraculous if I was able to erase the mistakes I did in my life, but I didn’t know that I’d be no one without my mistakes!, I never knew that I’ll be filled up with ignorance if I erased the failure out of my days, nothing could have stopped me, I felt so powerful but after a blink so weak, I don’t know how to undo what I’ve undone, it was hard to think of undoing what I did, so how shall I undo the undone!!

The bitter pain living in my heart has gone away, I felt the blood concurring my veins, I feel the heat of the sun, everything colored with white again, I hear familiar music passing my ears, red and blue, green and purple, yellow and all the colors are painted again on the painting of my life, back to normal slowly, I can see my self again, I love my mistakes and I love my failure, I love seconds the way they are, I hear the ticking of ordinary clocks and so finally I’m back here!!